Three-Minute Voicemail

Hey Rich, are you still free tonight? I was hoping to get dinner with some of the guys before it gets too late. You’re welcome to join us, but my car is in the shop so you might need to drive. Sorry about that. Yeah, I don’t know what happened – the Civic just started to… well, it’s not important

Anyway, we were thinking burgers, or maybe pizza for a change. I know things are tight since the restaurant cut your hours, but I can chip in what I can. Not that you couldn’t buy your own dinner or anything, but sometimes friends buy friends dinners when friends can’t… but you’re fine, man. Buy yourself whatever you’d like – I’m sure things will return to normal, and once they do, your folks won’t have to keep bailing you out. Pat will definitely be with us tonight, so it’ll be nice to catch up.

I’m currently walking down Skippack now, so I’ll let you know what’s going on. I’m thinking around 7:00 or so we can all meet up at Pat’s apartment. Yeah, I don’t know if you’ve been around these parts lately, but all the shops from high school are long gone. The grocery store I used to work at is closed too. Just looking around, you can tell this place is going downhill. Damn.

I’m a few blocks away from Pat’s, so I’ll let you go and hopefully you’ll be able to… join... can you still hear me? Sorry, I can’t tell where that noise is coming from. I was just about to hang up – hope you can join us later, my friend. Wouldn’t… wait, that car over there. That’s what it is – three guys are trying to break into a BMW across the street. Man, I’d be a wreck if that were my car. Rich, it’s just like you always see – two young kids doing the work and one guy on watch. Strange looking guy, he’s kind of looking in my direction, but nothing to worry about – they’re just some thugs. They’re too busy to notice a scrawny guy… like… me.

Holy shit. Rich, where are you right now? I know this sounds crazy, but I’m pretty sure that strange-looking guy is your clone. Wait, that didn’t sound right. He’s wearing the same style of clothes, the same haircut, he’s the guy on watch. Rich, pick up your phone. I, I can’t believe what I’m seeing right now. Forget dinner – are you seriously doing what I think you are right now? I mean, after all we’ve been through, you’re stealing from other people. Wow. And I know I’m yelling right now, but I thought you were a better friend than… oh, now you hear me.

*Holds phone away from ear*

Hey Rich, are you having a nice Friday night?!? Why don’t you come over here? I know you see me, let’s have a talk about this before the police show up. I can’t believe you would do this. Well, are you going to say something or are you just going to stand there with that crowbar in your hand? I mean seriously… Rich? Rich?!

*Phone falls to the ground*